Category: desperate cry for help

I bounced out of work at 8.30pish tonight. Truth be told, that’s actually relatively early for a week that we’re closing an issue. The reason? Nothing fab, I assure you. Nope. Try a damn tornado watch on for size.

 
Mind you, it’s not like I’ve never lived through tropical storm and hurricane alerts back in NYC. But I gotta tell you, this Midwest weather nonsense is FORREAL. I’m talking thick ass streaks of lightening, sideways rain, u-shaped trees and winds to whip your clothes off.
 
So err-um yeah, f–k the Quiet Storm, I don’t care what slow jam you wanna put on. This right here is NOT sexy.
 
*drags blanket, pillows, flashlight & cell phone to the bathtub*

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Hmm… spent all day yesterday getting ready for and barely making my flight to Chicago so it wasn’t until this morning that I heard all the hoopla about the air traffic controller who fell asleep on the job while a plane with a sick patient was trying to land.

Dude, as if flying isn’t scary enough. Oh and, this makes what? The 7th time something like this has happened this year? As in, seven times the past FOUR months? SMDH.

But as potentially horrible as that situation could have been, folks falling asleep on the job still makes more sense than the woman in Newburgh who drove her four kids into the Hudson River after a fight with her boyfriend/ baby father.

BLANK STARE

And what on it- Now that the 25 year-old killed herself and 3 of the 4 children, folks are coming forward to say that the woman had been behaving strangely and seemed overwhelmed in the weeks leading up to this tragedy. Really? And no one thought to check up on her and offer to help?

I can’t. We need to be more to kind to one another. Life is hard, everyone could use a helping hand.

*gets off of soapbox & starts to pray for the 10 year-old who managed to escape from the sinking car*

Err-um real talk, this picture of Wendy Williams’ feet that she twit pic’d after DWTS practice made me GAG!!


Yo, this is CRAZY! What is that lump on her right foot? And why are the bunions on her toes doubled up like that?? MY GOD.

And you better believe her husband Kevin faithfully massages them joints for her… with his bare hands.

BLANK STARE

To hell with Charlie Sheen, Wendy Williams got that certified TIGERS BLOOD pumping through her veins. Cause not for nothing, I refuse to do anything that would cause my feet to look like this besides run for my DAMN life.

This is NOT winning.

So err-um yeah… I gotta ask, exactly WHY are people beefing about the updated etiquette and food restrictions being imposed on New York City Health Department employees??


Because I for one, COMPLETELY agree.

For those who didn’t read the article, here are some of the changes that will be going into effect today:

-no eavesdropping btwn cubicles
-no overbearing perfumes
-no displays, photos or signs that may be considered offensive
-no “celebration” cake and cookies being served at the same time
-tap water is a must
-no drinks with more than 25 calories per 8oz servings
-cut muffins & bagels in half, or order mini-sizes
-ABSOLUTELY no fried foods

Personally, I think the real tragedy is that it’s necessary to TELL folks to act right and eat healthy when that’s what they do for a living. ALLEGEDLY.

*insert mean momma side-eye*

I mean honestly? No eavesdropping or fried food? It’s the freaking HEALTH DEPARTMENT. Call me crazy but of ALL the government agencies, they should be the LAST folks gossiping OR eating crappy food on taxpayers’ dimes.

*sucks back of the teeth HARD*

Man listen… Go talk ‘ish over that cup of red Kool-Aid during your regular off-site lunch break cause nobody needs it. At. All.

WAYMENT, what in the slew-footed hell happened to Britney Spears’ rhythm??


Granted, I’d read the rumblings on Twitter about the GMA performance being a little shakey bakey but I charged that on the time of the day. I mean, anyone coming from the west coast *cough* that’s as hopped up on anti-depressants as Miss Spears *cough* might be a little sleepy and off beat at 7.30am.

But now this Kimmel Show catastrophe? Oh uh-uh. This my darling is ree-diculous.

Could she have been anymore lackluster? Or out of shape? Seriously, homegirl went from sexy hourglass to a straight cardboard box. And please don’t get me started on the square 2-inch heels or that god awful, green & black criss-crossed onsey which was doing nada except making her look like the Incredible Hulk.

Oh Brit-Brit.

And let’s be honest, when the dancing fails to entertain, we’re forced to actually listen to the auto-tune nonsense you’re passing off as music nowadays. Who wants that?

BLANK STARE

Exactly.

Dang. Just finished reading the New York Times article about the 21 Catholic priests in Philadelphia that were recently suspended for sexual abuse of a minor and/ or boundary issues with them.


DEAD FISH EYES

But wait on it… a grand jury report issued on February 10th of 2010 accused the Philadelphia Archdiocese of a widespread cover-up of predatory priests, stretching over decades, and said that as many as 37 priests remained active in the ministry despite credible accusations against them. And naturally, at the time the cardinal vehemently denied the claim.

And then this. A entire YEAR later.

Le sigh.

I feel so sad for all the victims who were put in harm’s way because the Catholic Church refuses to be accountable. Life is hard enough nowadays without having your faith in your religious leaders destroyed over and over again.

Not for nothing, somebody might wanna send a prayer up for Pastor Grant Storms’ soul ASAP.

Cause apparently, the prominent New Orleans based Christian leader, who is best known for using a bullhorn to protest an annual three-day gay parade as “depraved”and describes masturbation as an immoral act, was just caught jerking off in his van. At a public park. During the day. While kids were around.

BLANK STARE

Talking about, the TWO witnesses were confused. He was just peeing in a bottle… That is, until whatever tiny sense of honesty he actually has kicked in. Then the hypocrite finally confessed to beating off.

I mean, if this isn’t just… typical.

*drops the rosary beads and walks away*

So Lady Gaga debuted the video for her latest single, “Born This Way” this morning.


Mmm… yeah. BLANK STARE

Granted, from what I heard from those who actually bothered to suffer through last night’s award show, it’s probably way more exciting than the Oscars. Howsoever, me no likely at all. Wait, I take that back. I actually do love the bra and panty set that she’s prancing around in but other than that… eh.

And you know, it’s not even the ridiculous rip-off of a Madonna song that bothers me the most (although it is pretty awful), I just really wish she would get a new choreographer. Watching Gaga jerk & jiggle her body around for over seven minutes wears me the hell out. And worse now that she’s wearing flat shoes.

*shrug*

I’m jussayin.

YOOOOOOOO! What in the wide-nostril-cross-dressing- hell is this??

Like forreal, is this clown really on YouTube rhapsodizing about his damn wig $5 wig?

Talking ’bout, “Dis is ‘Still I Rise’ hair; the hope & dream of the slave. Dis is for the colored girls who have considered suicide when the rainbow is enuf- but if them girls was laid, they wouldn’t have been considering suicide.”

BLANK STARE

You know what, no. Just no. I don’t care what I see or hear, the devil is a liar.

*logs off of life & goes to glory*

So about last night’s Grammys….


BLANK STARE

I mean, honestly from that horrific Aretha tribute to Lady Gaga popping out an egg just to sing over Madonna’s ‘Express Yourself’ all the way to Rih Rih’s off-key, wannabe dance hall moment and Dr. Dre’s old school mom jeans. Le Sigh. Yeah, I think I pretty much said it all in my chocolate bar fueled Twitter feed rant. In case you missed it, go HERE.

But lemme ask you this… What’s was going on with Beyonce?

When the camera panned on her for the first time sitting next to her BFF Gwyneth Paltrow, I did a damn double take. WTH?? Is she morphing into a white woman right in front of our very eyes?

Granted, I know this is homegirl’s “winter” complexion but still- what’s really good with the extra strawberry blonde weave and bare face look she was giving? As if she just decided to stop by the awards show on her way back to the hotel from running an errand at Target? I mean, less is more but none is ridiculous.

DEAD FISH EYES

Oh and I’m not even going to discuss the drab, black, bedazzled waist-length tuxedo jacket over a pair of high-waisted, sequined booty shorts….

No bueno.


Contact

Name
Email
Message

Yay! Message sent.
Error! Please validate your fields.
Design by materialdsign.com