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It’s few & far in between that a man can successfully croon a sexually explicit, profanity-laced threat so smoothly that you forget to be offended and simply sing along.

Sigh.

The 213 & hip-hop lost another great one today. RIP Nate Dogg

*pours out a little gin & juice*

On an upnote, shout out to my fabulous homegirl Jakissa, a.k.a. DJ Kiss.


The talented and more importantly kind-hearted New Orleans beauty who I’ve had the pleasure of being friends with she arrived to New York so many years ago (and happens to rock some of the hottest celeb parties around the freaking world) was included amongst Iman and Alexis Biedel in US Weekly’s 2010 List of the 25 Most Stylish New Yorkers!

YAAAAAY! Werk it mama!

Okay. This rogue Floridian pastor threatening to burn at least 200 books of the Quran is making me sad, scared & physically ill. Seriously.


Since the story broke weeks ago, I’ve been trying to pretend like this is one of those low-budget jokes that I’ll never understand. But then I saw today’s post on Reuters. And it hit me. The entire WORLD is watching & waiting to see what this lunatic is going to do on September 11th. In the name of God and freedom of speech.

And I can’t.

See, it’s not that I have a problem with his version of God or the idea of the freedom of speech. Shoot, I’m 110% for the protection of freedom of SPEECH. SAY what you want all the live long day.

Howsomever, when it comes to BURNING the holy books of ANY religious faith? Nope. I will not get behind that EVER. Not the Quran, not the Bible, not a Torah, NOTHING. Everyone’s faith deserves EQUAL respect. Period.

And on the most basic, selfish level- I, Mitzi Miller do not want to live through another terrorist attack. Especially one that is preventable.

I’m willing to bet $100, neither Pastor Jones nor his foolish followers were here or anywhere near NY when the towers fell. So of course it’s easy for him to shrug his shoulders and keep it moving when anyone with commonsense can tell you that such behavior will put all Americans at grave risk.

But I was.

And the thought of him blatantly PROVOKING the jihadists that were responsible for that nightmare, is simply incomprehensible. Um hello, these are the same take-it-the-limit extremists that have publicly hired bounty killers to murder folks for drawing cartoons of Muhammad! So yeah, what do you think is gonna happen when that racist lights the match??

BLANK STARE

Now, I understand that there’s really nothing legally that anyone can do to stop this situation. But believe this: Your freedom ends where mine behinds.

So if it goes down, and he does destroy those blessed texts, I PRAY that the press publicizes a LIST of every single, solitary, f’cking FOOL that has sent that mad man monetary donations or an actual Quran. Because I’mma need the suicide bombers and assassins to go kill THEM.

Not me.

See, here’s the thing about the whole “for better or for worse,” aspect of the wedding vow. Folks are quick to say it cause it sounds good, but have they really considered what it MEANS??


And I’m not hating on marriage. I’m just raise the point, that one never knows what’s going to happen around the next corner. And take it from me, when shit hits the fan, everybody ain’t built to stand the rain. As hurtfuls as it might be in at that moment, I’d much rather my partner ‘fess up that he doesn’t what it takes to be with me.As opposed to him faking the funk, sticking around, being resentful and make my situation even crazier.
*shrug*

Think I’m tripping? Well allow me to introduce EXHIBIT A:
Darrell White of Cincinnati, Ohio.

Yo. Why did this mean ass, 65 year-old man allow his poor bedridden wife to be eaten TO DEATH by maggots??

*nosedives into the shallow end of the pool*

Apparently, his 46 year-old wife Jorene suffered from a crippling case of arthritis. And ultimately, found herself completely confined to the bed. And somewhere along the line, the role of primary caretaker must’ve become too much and this psychopath just stopped taking care of her.

Now mind you, when I saw stop taking care of her; homegirl didn’t starve to death. Nope. (Although quietly, that might have been 100 times more humane than being slowly eaten alive). Dude simply quit taking her to the doctor, turning her over, moving her legs/arms or even worse cleaning up her poo. PAUSE. So needless to say, when the authorities came to recover her corpse, she was COVERED with flies, maggots and bed sores.

*insert extended horror movie scream*

So you tell me: what part of the happily-ever-after game is this madness??

DEAD FISH EYES

Exaaaactly.

That poor woman would’ve had a better chance in poorly funded, state-run facility with unlicensed health care practitioners than with the very man that swore to love and protect her till the end of days. SMH.

Just wrong.

I can’t believe I’m saying this outloud but maybe, just maybe, Facebook isn’t all bad.

Randomly came across this video on on my homepage this morn- thanks Ms. Morgan! I totally forgot how much I loved this song. Momentarily took my breath away.

And then the dialogue? Priceless.

Enjoy.

SIDEBAR: does anyone know the name of this actress? I’d love to know what she’s up to nowadays…

Clearly, fun times with the BFFs over the weekend distracted me from all the craziness going on in the celeb world. So forgive me if this topic is old news to you. I’m currently processing. *kanye shrug*


Lawrence Taylor got arrested?? For paying for sex with a child? SMH.

All them years playing in the league, your induction to the Hall of Fame, the inspiring recovery from drug addiction and even that recent appearance on DWTS, and THIS RIGHT HERE is how you going out? Arrested for prostitution charges involving a MINOR? I. Can’t.

Granted, according to the article I read this morning, the 16 year-old prostitute admits lying about her age. But still, I’m still giving your old ass a serious side-eye for having sex with any woman who 1) looks like a damn teenager and 2) clearly just had her ass beat by a pimp.

Honestly, I don’t know if this need to pay for intercourse with a woman less than half your age is an ego thing (’cause you don’t want to admit that you can no longer bag young cuties) or pride (’cause a hooker can’t complain when your D-game is wack).

DEAD FISH EYES

Either way, I’mma need you to want more for your legacy than the random chick holding impromptu press conferences outside her uncle’s apartment in the Bronx talking about, “The condom got stuck in me,”and “I told him, ‘I’d better not get pregnant.”

*silence*

For the most obvious reasons, I am beyond thrilled that the Health Care Bill was finally approved and passed through the House. I started to choke up when we finally received the necessary 216th vote to pass the bill. But honestly, it was the resounding 220, that defeated a last minute measure to trash the whole thing and stage a do-over, that made me break out in the cabbage patch. Cause at a certain point, enough is enough.


And while I can understand people being passionate about their positions, I have to admit, there were times when even I was shocked by the lies, nastiness and downright craziness that this issue brought out in people. Teabaggers openly calling Rep John Lewis a nigger, cowardly politicians screaming out “baby-killer” at Rep. Stubeck while he was speaking on the floor, Rep. Steve King pretending to bitch slap Nancy Pelosi and of course right wing pundits damn near predicting the beginning of the apocalypse because the bill passed, and the the list goes on.

Admittedly, the Health Care Bill is far from perfect. But I’ll tell you what, it’s for damn sure way better than what 32 million Americans had before 10:45p last night.

“Tonight’s vote is not a victory for any one party… It’s a victory for the American people. It’s a victory for commonsense.” -President Obama
PS. For those who didn’t manage to read the bill, here’s a cheat sheet on some of the changes:
IMMEDIATE FIXES: 2010
– SMALL BUSINESSES: Tax credits start flowing to businesses with fewer than 50 employees, covering 35% of premiums, to help them afford coverage. By 2014, that will rise to 50%.
– SENIORS: They get a $250 rebate to help fill the “doughnut hole” in Medicare drug coverage.
– YOUNG ADULTS: Health insurers are required to let young people stay on their parents’ policy up to their 27th birthday.
– PRE-EXISTING CONDITIONS: Insurers will be barred from denying coverage to kids with pre-existing conditions. Adults will have to wait until 2014 for the same protection. But high-risk pools will offer an option for affordable coverage until then.
– NO LIMITS ON COVERAGE: Insurers can’t place lifetime caps on benefits any longer.
– PREVENTIVE CARE: New private plans will have to cover checkups and other preventive services with no co-pays. By 2018, all plans must comply.
2011
– HEALTH CARE COMPANIES KICK IN: Drugmakers pony up new fees, starting at $2.7 billion. Insurance and medical-device providers follow in 2013.
2013
– TAXES: Medicare payroll taxes increase – from a rate of 1.45% to 2.35% – for singles earning more than $200,000 a year and families above $250,000.
2014
– INDIVIDUAL MANDATE: Almost everyone will be required to get insurance or face a fine – $95 in 2014, $325 in 2015 and $695 in 2016 (with a maximum of $2,250 for a family). There is an exemption for low-income people.
– EMPLOYER MANDATE: Businesses with 50 or more employees must offer insurance or pay a $2,000-per-worker penalty.
– HEALTH CARE EXCHANGES: New state-based marketplaces will be open for business, giving individuals and small businesses a place to shop for affordable insurance .
– SUBSIDIES: To help pay for insurance, the feds will offer subsidies to families making as much as $88,000 a year. Out-of-pocket spending will be tied to a person’s income and kept as low as $1,000.
2018
– TAX ON HIGH-COST HEALTH PLANS: A 40% excise tax will be slapped on high-cost “Cadillac” plans starting in 2018.
2020
– Benefits that began to close Medicare’s “doughnut hole” for prescription drugs in 2010 will finally complete the job in 2020.

Drumroll please!

And according to random.org the winner of the MitziMoments ‘Better Booty in 2010’ giveaway is…

CANNON!!

Congrats my dear! May your new curvy bootleg GAP jeans give your butt the extra lift & umph we all desire!

To receive your prize, please email your mailing info to: mitzimoments@gmail.com


*For the record, the original winner of this contest was actually my fabulous friend and co-author Denene Millner. But since, I already know how ya’ll conspiracy/ life-is-a-hook-up folks think, I snatched the prize back and had the computer pick another number. Sorry ‘Nene…

Oh Lord, the things I get myself into…

This weekend, I let Angela convince me to take a bikram yoga class with her and her hilarious daughter, Iyana. Please don’t ask why. Because if there are one thing that I know about myself, it’s that I have a very sensitive sense of smell. So you already know… 90 min in a 110 degree room with a bunch of scantily clad strangers? Jesus be a stick of extra strong deodorant.

But you know what? Wonders of all wonders, I LOVED it!

Don’t get it twisted, the smell is no joke. Like, my eyes watered from the moment I entered the building. It took me at least 10 minutes to stop gasping for breath. Even the waiting area stunk of stale arm pitt funk. And please believe I NEVER got to the point where I didn’t smell the odor. I don’t know if it was the humidity in the air, the moist carpeting in the studio or the dude next to me whose sweat beads popped off of his entire body like shooting bullets but it was a lot.

However, I had such a good time attempting all the crazy positions- have you ever tried to wrap your arm around your back and into your inner thigh?- that it wasn’t until the last five minutes that I started to feel worn out. I’d say, right around the time the water in my bottle started to taste lukewarm. Yeah, actually that was also kinda gross now that I think about it…
But I digress. Big picture: it was dope. So thank you Ang. I am so ready to go again.
I’m telling you, 2009 is about to be a big year… First, the inauguration and now bikram yoga? It’s about to go down.

It’s official- we are getting old. And yes, I said WE.

42% of the folks can’t remember the last time the magic happened in a public place. Can you imagine if I’d asked this question say… five years ago? I’m willing to bet 42% would’ve chosen the “this week” option (and yes, I’m including myself in that). Sigh, so sad.
Of course, the mature part of my mind wants to rationalize the change in direction as a positive thing. “Oh, it’s because nowadys most of us have our own homes with expensive beds-sans parents-so we don’t have to act up in public places AND not for nothing, have you seen how disgusting bathrooms in the clubs are nowadays??? Hooking up in public is so dead.” But then…. the little voice in my head whispers, “Yeah right. That’s just a politically correct excuse for being less spontaneous. Ain’t nothing wrong with a little act up every now and then. You and your crew (well almost all of my crew) are just actin’ like old biddies.”

The reality is, if 25% of you guys were able to figure it out at some point in 2008, then the movement can’t be completely over, right?

So hats off to the 5% who were able to make the magic happen this past month. I just hope that it wasn’t on a park bench, playground swing, bathroom stall or backseat of a car that I’ll be on anytime soon.

And as for the 25% who have never, ever, ever… God bless your hearts. Elsa is probably disowning me and recruiting a new eldest daughter after reading this post. Hee hee. Feel free to submit your applications.


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